I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
