Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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