I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and she was petting her beer can
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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