Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
