At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
