dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
