I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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