Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
