Don't you send me to vm
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
