it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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