Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
