omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
