he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
