The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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