she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
