she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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