Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
