I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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