Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
