I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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