Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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