dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
