Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
