Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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