No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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