we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
