I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
