Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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