i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
