i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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