i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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