My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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