its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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