I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
