I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
