well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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