What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
