I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you win again, gameday.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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