So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Success! We fucked roommates!
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