I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
