Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
