Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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