I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
