ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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