dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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