Nicole vs. Life
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
