Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
