can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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