hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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