yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.