I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize