after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?