barbara walters just said penis...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?