Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
