he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
