This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
