if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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