YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
